You know how you are aware that something is true but you don't really embrace it (or remember it) until you are directly confronted with that reality. Like when you eat spicy food. You think that this time it won't come back to haunt you, and it tastes soooo good, but the truth hurts in most cases. Or that the speed limit sign says 45 M.P.H. and yet nobody around you is going that speed (they're all going faster), but if you get pulled over you're likely going to get a ticket. Or if you drink a lot of water before a long car ride you will inevitably need to make a pit-stop (or two) - and some passengers who are motivated by the desire to get to the intended destination as expeditiously as possible are going to be frustrated by that lack of planning or pea-straint ( . . . but that’s another story).
From very early on in the continuum of my diagnosis and treatment, I have been aware that my Multiple Myeloma (MM) is incurable - though totally manageable. And as such, my maintenance regimen would have to last forever. This fact has been well documented in the pages of this blog, so you would think that I was aware of this reality (which I am). But occasionally I still lose sight of this fact (obscured by the sustained good health that I enjoy/appreciate).
On a recent visit to Dr S (prompted by his call for me to come in; but not to be worried), he explained that among the many factors of my lab work that he routinely scrutinizes, he is tangentially vigilant about the status of my kidneys. Kidneys?!?! I thought you had a blood borne cancer? I do, but as the great filter of the body, the kidneys eventually see it all. Before I was diagnosed, they took a beating (unbeknownst to me) as they struggled to keep up with scrubbing the off-the-charts levels of protein I was expressing - as a result of the rampant over-production due to my MM (I presented with a reading of 7,100 when I was diagnosed which has been reduced to about 15!).
We're going to make a change to my maintenance regimen and it's all under control. But the cold-water splash of reality reminded me of the forever-ness of my disease. It doesn't change my outlook or my attitude, it just reminds me that forever is a long time. Yet, according to Dr S, forever may not actually be that long at all, because his research purview allows him to posit that a cure for MM is within the decade. Now that's something to look forward to.
