We've all lost too many fathers and grandfathers (mothers and grandmothers - and more) to cancer over the years. Despite my attempts to keep this conversation on the lighter side, I do have to sometimes remind us of the unfortunate reality of a disease that is all too serious and often too cruel. I am lucky enough to be a father, a grandfather and a person living well with cancer. So the privilege of enjoying a day like yesterday is not wasted on me - several times over. While celebrating Dad's Day with some of my family, the inevitable stories about Father's Days past and present filled the air and our hearts.
One recollection involved a Father's Day from years past spent enjoying the simple pleasure of fishing along the jetty, eating home-made meatball subs, taking in the warmth of a June sun (broken by a cool ocean breeze and the occasional respite of shade from a passing puff of clouds), and coming home with more memories than fish (actually: plenty of memories - no fish at all).
Another family favorite from days gone by told the tale of a Dad's Day when the old man sat around enjoying all of his worldly pleasures (a cold beer, a close baseball game on TV, and the gleeful shrieks of grandchildren running all around - dashing through lawn sprinklers or raiding the freezer for ice pops). In this scenario, on this Day, the women-folk did all the work ( "Hey, it's Father's Day - I'm not supposed to do any work." ), which was more often than not a fairly accurate description of the typical gender-aligned division of labors - from not so long ago.
And a third story, involved some friends who opened their home to a young man from down the block who very recently lost his dad. Understandably not feeling up for any kind of celebration or crowd of people, his wife went off to fulfill the family duty, while he found comfort in the simple camaraderie of these supportive neighbors; enjoying various bar-b-qued edibles, a glass of wine or two, and a relief from the need to tell his "story" or confront the elevated emotions of his first fatherless Father's Day.
This blog hopes to help those with cancer concerns and questions. But every one of us everywhere has some form of challenges or burdens beyond this disease. So, like the aforementioned neighbors with the soft shoulders and the tender hearts, whether cancer-related or not - what can I do to help?
